Just Go... - The Kentologist

When I was in the 7th grade I used to get my lunch from the cafeteria, then quietly sneak away to the band room to eat my food. My band instructor let me sit and eat, as long as I practiced my saxophone for a few minutes before lunchtime was over.

It was entirely anti-social and even for me, as a former Class President, a little odd.  It may come as no surprise that I was (and still am) a classic nerd, of which I take considerable pride. When people would ask me why I did it though, I told them..."I need time to find myself." In retrospect, I'm not sure what profound revelations I might have had at age 12 or 13, but I'm sure it was relevant to the time.  Lately, I've found myself wanting to sneak away to a conference room at work or to the bathroom at home, since a middle school band room isn't available anymore. A quiet space to just...be. (All my fellow parents know what I'm talking about here.) To think of all the things that could be and all the things you don't want to end up being and so on and so forth. Fear is a hell of a drug, a cancer to progress and at times, very irrational. It's dangerous because it can fester and turn any thought into a perceived reality.

What I've realized, then in my quiet moments in the band room and now, as I sit alone at my dining room table, is that whenever I begin to fear the unknown, I'm at the cusp of an idea or opportunity!  Funny how that works, resistance.  Instead of it being a hindrance, think of fear as a sign that you're on the brink of something more, something fascinating and brilliant...maybe just something fun and different. 

The past two years of our lives, as a family, have been met with welcome challenges of moving, changing jobs every 6 months, meeting new people, making new friends, and exploring new cities.  It's been incredibly overwhelming and exciting all at the same time. I'm thankful for it because it left me vulnerable enough to consider doing things I loved and were interested in. They didn't require any long-term commitment, which was another bonus: joining a soccer team, volunteering to facilitate a summer science camp, taking weekend trips to nearby cities... these are what I view as low-hanging fruit to maintaining an exciting and fulfilling life. Soon, I plan to take this a step further. I'd been lingering on an idea for months and months-- getting stuck on any and every excuse imaginable ("excuse"...read: fear). Now, finally, it's coming to fruition. I can't wait to share it with everyone, but for now I'll continue down my journey of diligent planning and preparation.

Nothing profound here, but my advice to anyone being feeling the initial inertia to progress and motion... just go! There's no secret combination and there won't always be someone to tell you 'you're on the right track'. Trust your instincts. If you're right, great! If not, it's not the end of the world, just the end of that season.

Be blessed.

Location: Rincon Beach Resort - Rincon, Puerto Rico





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