I've started to recite daily affirmations with Kent in order to build his self-esteem at his early age of two years. I got the idea from a video of Tyrese Gibson and his daughter, Shayla, on self-confidence.
This morning I started rattling them off...
This morning I started rattling them off...
Me: Say "I'm a smart boy".
Kent: I'm a smart boy!
Me: Say "I'm a handsome boy".
Kent: I'm a handsome boy!
Me: (*pause*...as I think of a another)
Kent: I'm a strong boy!
Oh, my heart smiled! In my hesitation, he knew without me having to tell him, that he was strong. This is exactly what I want for Kent-- to not think that he has to wait for validation elsewhere. He needs to always know his worth and never dim his light to make anyone else feel comfortable.
This small example shows the power of words and the importance of teaching these lessons early. I cringe every time I hear someone call their child 'bad'. As I witness it, the majority of the time it is a child whose behaviors reflect their age and developmental appropriateness, not unruliness (i.e., a 2 or 3-year old who refuses to sit still). For the child that is truly being unruly, I see that they usually have a bad attitude and/or disrespectful speech. There are undoubtedly bad influences around us everywhere; Lee and I have had to address several behaviors that Kent has picked up from other children at his daycare. However, as a parent, I feel that the responsibility is mine to correct, regardless of where the behavior originated. If we keep telling our children that they are 'bad', they will soon start to believe it and become it.
Instead, I choose to continue on with our daily affirmations. Below is a picture of 101 Ways to Praise a Child. We have a copy on our fridge and it's an excellent reminder to freely offer praise to a child, and gives you plenty ways to do so.
HAKUNA MATATA!
Tee by OzzieOlive
Oh, my heart smiled! In my hesitation, he knew without me having to tell him, that he was strong. This is exactly what I want for Kent-- to not think that he has to wait for validation elsewhere. He needs to always know his worth and never dim his light to make anyone else feel comfortable.
Why does he look like a little man here? :'(
This small example shows the power of words and the importance of teaching these lessons early. I cringe every time I hear someone call their child 'bad'. As I witness it, the majority of the time it is a child whose behaviors reflect their age and developmental appropriateness, not unruliness (i.e., a 2 or 3-year old who refuses to sit still). For the child that is truly being unruly, I see that they usually have a bad attitude and/or disrespectful speech. There are undoubtedly bad influences around us everywhere; Lee and I have had to address several behaviors that Kent has picked up from other children at his daycare. However, as a parent, I feel that the responsibility is mine to correct, regardless of where the behavior originated. If we keep telling our children that they are 'bad', they will soon start to believe it and become it.
Instead, I choose to continue on with our daily affirmations. Below is a picture of 101 Ways to Praise a Child. We have a copy on our fridge and it's an excellent reminder to freely offer praise to a child, and gives you plenty ways to do so.
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You are such an amazing mother, Toya! You teach us all... through this blog and through the pictures that you post via Instagram. Thank you for sharing your life and wisdom with us. You and Lee are doing a phenomenal job!
ReplyDelete-Casey
Thank you for your kind words, Casey! I think there are so many unshared stories that teach small lessons that are more memorable and resonate better, for me anyway. Kent teaches us many of those lessons daily.
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